pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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