Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
