Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
