its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
