Betty ford says i'm here all night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
