it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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