Define "chronic" masturbator.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
