Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
