I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
