Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
