You work out of a Hotel?
I can text with my tongue
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
