im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she woke up with a sticky ear
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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