woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
