it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
