conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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