Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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