is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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