you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
