Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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