I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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