I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
