2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
