why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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