I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
