I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
