hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize