You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found your dick twin last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect