I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF