dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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