Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
