The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
