I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
