All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
