I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
