i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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