I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
