Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
