She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
