Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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