His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize