Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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