I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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