Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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