at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
