***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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