So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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