Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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