i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
