Say something about gay babies.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
