best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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