I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you didnt know i had herpes?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
