how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
