I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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