Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I skipped work to stalk him.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
