): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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