Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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