...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
