dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize