I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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