Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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