saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
